nye coming!! yays!! gonna go tikibar again..hee hee...cos got mr sweet there to brighten up my day...hahaa....he's juz the sweetest.....

some stupid lil doggies scold me..haix...so upsetting u knows... *wahhahaha* how idiotic!!! haiyohs!! these ppl r totally brainless.....pls lah...get yr facts straight before you go arnd scolding ppl can!! duno anything dun try to act smart!!! n stop starting wars tat u cant win..its very malu-ating for yrself u know...my tip for u imbeciles out dere - get a friggin life!!! sheesh...

anyway...once again ive been said to look like stella ng... *faints* oh well...but there are plus points for looking like her though... *winks* hahaaaaaa......

change of music video for u peeps out there...

enjoy. *winks*

MERRY XMAS TO ALL MY LOVELY DARLINGS!!!!!!
*muahs muahs muahs*

oh well...although xmas may not be the happiest this year..but i have decided to make the best outta it...no point dwelling on rubbish incidents.....

i officially announce the closure of this whole rubbish incident!!! '

spent like the whole of ytd nite doing up my xmas pressies for all my darlings...eh ppl...yr pressies r realie yummy u noe...n i kinda spent lotsa time slowly pakaging it..so before u all open it n munch it down...say yr thank yous to me..and tell me how much u love me..before u take tat first bite kayz... hahaaaa!!!! dohhhs.....

anyway ive had a rather happy morning...cos we had special breakfast from christina mok...hee hee...and lighting exercise wasnt TOO BAD today...so...overall i had a nice morning...

now come online a while den later going town!! yeeps!!!!

hope everyone has a merry merry xmas tis year!! lalaaa!!!

dedicated to you - the video below.

some people want it all...
but i don't want nothing at all...
if it ain't you baby...
if i ain't got you baby...
some people want diamond rings...
some just want everything...
but everything means nothing...
if i ain't got you...

back from ipoh....stopped over at genting a while..tee hee...screamed my head off on the roller coasters n let out some of my surpressed "steam"... hurshurs...

it was so nice to b back in ipoh n "run away" from all the sadness in singapore...after so long i finally got to c my nanny n uncle kenny...missed them so much!!! it was just so upsetting to leave them again....everytime i see them in ipoh...n then have to say goodbye..it just kills me....these are the ppl tat truly love me...when i was still v young...i spent like more than half my time with my nanny n the family...so when my mum wanted to bring me to jb...uncle kenny (my nanny's bro) n the whole family practically watched me slp...n cried the whole nite...cos it was the last nite they could spend with me.....and everytime they tell me tat story of how they all carried me in their arms n watched me slp while all of them teared...i cant help but wanna cry too...cos i can c it in their eyes...yup...they really love me....before i turned my back to walk towards my dad's car from uncle kenny's house...i took a long look at nanny n uncle kenny...they have reali aged quite a bit...now i really miss them.......

although uncle kenny n my nanny arent really blood related family..but i really cant imagine life without them...they are just as close as my blood related family...hmmm or should i say...they are closer to me than some of my blood related relatives in ipoh...cos i know...they already treat me as part of their family...we get to c each other less than once a year...n yet...they even rmb my birthday....*sighs* gosh i really miss them!!! miss them so so so so so much........

xmas will most prob kinda suck this year...i kinda wish i could spend it back in ipoh... but thanks to MOE...i gotta stay in sg...grrrrr...........

its so difficult...so damn difficult to b happy....

its so damn difficult to not think of him...

and when i do? its so difficult not to have the urge to cry...

how did things turn out to be like tis...

how did i become like this....

*sighs*

sobs...i gonna miss my first official recording..damn it....saturday's the recording for impressario 2004's theme song...and where am i?! in IPOH?!?! bobian..my aunts wedding leh...canot dun go....haix... *v big sigh* now i realie wish i could split myself in half...sheesh.....my FIRST EVER RECORDING and i'm not there...wells...its not MY recording actually...a group song...but still!! gonna miss out so much on the experience already!!!!! *another big sigh*

so damn upsetting.....

another 9 more days to xmas....so depressing...xmas is getting so damn depressing lah!!! lonely lonely xmas....... xmas only makes me feel lonelier than usual......

hmmm.....although i dun think there are much guys out there reading my blog but i juz wanna ask anyway.... is it that easy for u guys to tell a girl "i like u" ?! i mean.... dont u have to b super duper sure before saying it to someone? i'm beginning to lose trust in those 3 words....its been told so easily to me so many times that...i think the meaning has been lost somewhere back there.....am i making sense here?! hmmm....getting so tired...so so tired.....

merry xmas to myself.

thats so freaking sad.

*sighs*

life is getting suckier n suckier.... hurhur....

hmmms...i'm contemplating on whether to change my blog address...but its too mafan..den gotta inform everyone tat has linked me abt my new addy...abit extra....so shall leave it as this.....

WATEVER!!!!

so im officially cutting all contacts with the outside world?! hmm....turned off my hp a whole day yesterday cos i didnt want to b DISTURBED...den dumped my hp at home n went out.............got 2 pairs of stilletos frm mummy....hmmm..guess she knew that i wasnt feeling too happy these days....cos she kinda caught me crying in my room......i felt kinda mean to scream at her..but i was really pissed n upset n it didnt help when she was going on n on abt telling me not to dabble in relationships anymore n concentrate on my schwork...ppl need QUIET TIME when they're crying u know....sheesh.....anyway its all over.....THE END.

to you:
i can find a thousand n one reasons to love you,
n tell myself a thousand n one reasons to hate you.

BOUNCE - Sarah Connor
Said you're going with your boys today and
"Don't worry cause I'll be home late"
But I know you're cheatin' out there, creepin',
You've been freakin' babe
So let me tell you how it's going to be
And you can run game but not on me boy
So who the hell are you trying to kid
You know this is what I did

I called your pager and your two-way boy but no response
Start looking and I found you in some other women's arms
Don't try to front boy cause I saw you there with my own eyes
Just get your stuff boy cause I'm tired of hearing all your lies
Bounce baby out the door
I ain't gonna take this no more
Bounce baby out the door
Get up and move
Don't make me act a fool
Just bounce

Baby boy I know you'll never find
No stuff as good as mine
She can't work you like I did
You can look but you know I got that good shit
I know that you're hating it
But you better stay with the one you're with
You made your bed and now you have to sleep in it baby

(RAP)
Wait a minute Sarah, give me a chance to explain
I was just talking to shorty, I don't even know her name
I ain't looking for no one to come and take your place
Ain't no one out there baby that can fill your space
No need to find a nickel got a dime at home
Plus I love every night the freaky way we bone
I ain't trying to get gone, ain't trying to play the roll
I'd rather stay and be a part of your green eyed soul

*i think im gonna hate xmas this year..........*

been eons since i last blogged...my gosh...i miss my home pc...blerh...but den at least now i onli take 1/2 an hour to 45 mins to get to sch...tee hee!!! sch....boringgggg..... haix haix haix....

xmas is coming....n my wish is really drifting to the ends of the world...i dun even know wat im doing now.......idiotic me....can u all imagine?! tues nite i was sitting at the bottom of my block crying my eyes out...so gundu rite....why do i always let this kinda shit happen to me?! whyyyyy........... argh!!!!!

i wish things werent so not 3 not 4....why cant ppl get straight to the point...why cant ppl jus MAKE UP THEIR BLOODY MINDS....sheeshhhhh......

basically im naturally prone to tis kinda shit isit.....

yea i guess so hur... well...... miserable life i have.....

freak.

bleah.

just now 933 was playing yin yue ri ji.....den i kinda heard the DJ saying something tat kinda struck me hard...

"do u keep your phone turned on for someone late at night?"
"有没有一个人会让你想为他在深夜里把手机开着？"

yes i do... ^_^

whenever i hear my phone go off...be it msg/call....i kinda always hope its him...n when he doesnt msg/call me for a whole day...i start to get all...irritable...every other small thingy will piss me off.....hee.......

maybe i should stop trying to lie to myself.....

i like him...

i really do.......

我是喜欢他的...

是他让我每晚想他想到无法入睡...

* hey... 我喜欢你... (n_n)

just finished watching SG IDOL....

CONGRATS TO TAUFIK!!!!!!!!

he's good....but sly's cute...haha...it was a damn tough fight i must say..but i realised smthing...DOUGLAS O IS PIAN XIN!!!! he likes taufik more...can tell from the stuff he said abt the both of them....hmphs..biasbiasbias....

my xmas wish is drifting further n further.....

could it EVER come true???

i used to think it could..now its becoming a dream....

speaking of dreams...i loved the song written for singapore idol...

I DREAM.........

im gonna continue dreaming..

hopefully one day it comes true...