have u felt so miserably misunderstood that it hurts?
a third party will never understand the emotional torture i went through i guess. maybe in the eyes of others, im just a girl who once again, gave up on something or someone cos of the very unavoidable NS. yet i know how untrue that is. i was there for him throughout the toughest period (BMT & OCS) and it became my own toughest period to crawl through as well. if NS was the simplest reason to give up on a relationship, i should have chosen the toughest period to spare myself the agony, no? why would i have clung on and decide to leave everything behind only after he commisions and is now an officer? which thereafter entitles him to alot more time out of camp to spend time with me.
why does everyone blatantly think that its a girls fault if theres a breakup when the guy is still in the army. is it also not the fault of the guy at the end of the day? im not saying theres no part of me to blame. but it honestly takes two hands to clap. two to make, and two to break.
u guys fear the commitments of a relationship when ure enlisting. a girl fears them just the same. "how to cheat on you when im stuck in camp 5 days a week!?" I BEG TO DIFFER. REALLY. it kinda makes MIA (missing-in-action) alot easier for u guys. maybe the male species would now be ranting in disagreement. but dont the "duties" and "field camps" make helluva good excuse during times u dont wanna be found? i think so.
im not making a sweeping statement here. i know there are the minority that wouldnt stoop so low. afterall, it takes alot for a girl to really go through the whole 2 years of NS life with you. everyone has their fears, who doesnt. after u get pricked by a rose, its hard to not pick up the next rose with caution and check for thorns that could potentially prick u again. once bitten twice shy. but at least give the next rose a chance. u nv know, u might fall in love with roses all over again.
no particularly special reason for this entry.
just feeling deeply misunderstood at this point of time.
this may not clear my name, but it puts my thoughts across i guess.
at the age of 21+ im still hoping for a fairytale love story. who doesnt?
keeps the whole innocence of falling in love.
love isnt a game, feelings arent for manipulating. u dont make someone fall in love with u just to see if u can. u make someone fall in love with u, becos u believe they will go to slp at night telling themselves "he/she is the best thing that happened to me."
when can i tell myself that?
u can only push a girl away for so long,
until she walks out of your life on her own.
so be careful, and make sure this is what you want.
because once she turns around, she isn't coming back.
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