GREAT!! my comp disconnected me while i was typing my entry..and then...when i reconnected...my whole post DISAPPEARED!!!! WONDERFUL!!!
here we go again....
today was damn tiring...so tiring that i fell aslp during regional cinema...luckily patrick cheng went outta the LT so i could slp like a baby..hehehe....the show so boring anywayx...and during my nap..i had a dream..i dream of me and him...he brought me out clubbing..and it was jus me n him...and then..he led me into phuture..it was empty...except for me and him...he actually booked the whole of phuture jus for me and him...haix..but everything was a dream...wake up le...everything is nothing....i'm back..in reality...i know i cant keep running away from reality..i cant keep day-dreaming..can't keep saying niunai and jielun are my nan peng yous...but perhaps...its keeping myself happy....artificial but it works...
i always try to be strong...be my bubbly self everyone knows me as...and i've succeeded...really..i have..in school..i'm trully happy...cos i've got my friends...until the times when i'm alone...taking the bus home...in my room...i become another person...the one very little pple have seen....
why do i always repeat my mistakes..why do i keep liking the wrong guys...why do i keep letting myself fall into misery again n again..i dont like it...really...but i can never help myself...wo bu ming bai..zhen de bu ming bai...wo zai zhi zuo zhi shou ma? I want to walk out of this...give me the courage to love again....
it's my fridays that are making me shit depressed...i only have lessons from 10am to 12 pm...anyone else would be hell-happy...can go home early and slp....but not me..i dont like to go home early...and SLEEP my time away...i want to have someone to accompany me...make me look forward to my fridays...make me look forward to the end of class so i can grab my bag and run off to meet someone special...but i dun have...so i shall rot n mug at home...
i detest my fridays..OFFICIALLY...
*i wish i had the answers..i wish i was loved..for once..i wish....*
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