nothings fair in a relationship isnt it?

a guy can fool arnd den give reasons excuses like "i was drunk" or "its a guys thing. we just hav to play arnd." and den expect us girls to forgive them again and again. and yet girls are not allowed to. just one boo boo and "lets break up, i cant stand the fact my gf fooled arnd."
IT WILL NEVER BE FAIR WILL IT.

in my case, love is definitely beyond reasoning, beyond common sense. things ive swore, i cant keep. (to myself) I swore to stop being the stupid idiotic lil girl in love and yet, i still am. is it just me?

up to the point of time when i grabbed the keys and hp and left the house, i was on the brink of breakdown. and yet, he managed to turn it all around.

stupid stupid stupid m e .

headed down to tinybox yesterday and signed away my "freedom" for the next 3 years. after next week it will gruel trainings and late nights all the way. it also will mean alot alot less time with my darling. sigh. now it feels like im the one who's going for "NS".

suddenly miss him so much so much. just realised im getting so attached to him its impossible to leave him. and im hoping like hell that my contract with tinybox isnt gonna pull us further and further apart so much so that we end up APART for good. i want him by my side when i achieve my dreams, when im doing wat i love most - when im singing. i need him there for me when i cry and i need him there to share my happiness.

went to highlight my hair on weds with sam at this place called protrim in city square. cheap cheap!! my highlights were only RM88 and sam did her base colour and highlights for only RM160!! very good deal. she also had her hair set nicely. the hairdresser did these nice temp curls for her which leads her wanting to hav permanant curls now. pics time!

bangkok seems to have to be postponed cos of the stupid elections and protestors. damn. so irritated. my trips never happen on time!! never happen acc to plans!!! sheesh.

in a so so so irritated mood right now. so damn fucking suay today lah.

i was on the way home from school, listening to my mp3. my bus came, i went up the bus. tapped my ezlink and to my horror i heard that irritating high pitched beeping sound - NO FREAKING MONEY IN MY EZLINK!!! so i took out my earphones n rummaged for coins. n as suay as i can get, NO COINS!! so i had to take my $5 note n find change. and the driver kept calling me. like as if i dun wanna pay for my bus ride lah. den i irritatedly told him i wanna find change. heng this uncle on the bus got lotsa coins. so i paid my bus fare n sat down. plugged in my earphones n to my dismay, I WAS PRESSING BUTTONS ON MY MP3 WHEN I WAS RUMMAGING FOR COINS!!! which led to my mp3's hanging. yes the bloody thing HUNG!!! so i was repeatedly pressing buttons trying to get it to work, not noticng, I MISSED MY BLOODY STOP!!!!! den had to walk all the way from holland to my house, WITHOUT MUSIC!!!

yes super suay. den came home to mayhem. i nt gonna blog abt that cos it will just raise up the fire level in me now. 2 weeks of no privacy in my home. heck, i cant even walk arnd naked at nite if i want to. (I DONT OK!!) hahaha. it was just a figure-of-speech.

ok enuff complaining. just need to fa xie abit. done.

we r trashing someone tmr at MOS!! whee!!!

ooh! its been long since i last blogged huh. abt a week and a half! hmm guess ive been too lazy huh. anyways work has been alright. everyday i end work i come home with aching feet but yea, its ALL good. but i just wish hours would be a LITTLE shorter.

thinking abt his birthday. had an idea of a surprise for him but i duno if im up for it. haha. melissa was all FOR it. but i duno, it could be a nice surprise or it could end up being the most humiliating day of my life as well. so, i need to think hard abt it. heh.

going to bangkok with meihui and sam on the 27th!!! shopping spreeeee!!! haha gonna be buying the whole of bangkok down soon!! wheeeeee!!!! shall go with the littlest baggage and come back with the hugest! i love my plannings. *smile*

went down to dxo for cheeseng's event last night. that place is crazy for dancing. above the dancefloor, theres no freaking ventilation or air conditioning!!! everyone was sweating buckets on the dancefloor. its quite un-common sense of them. me and a few of us had to run to this exit door at the corner of the dancefloor and keep opening the door cos there is uber cooling air conditioning on the otherside. but the open air lounge is nice though. =) lets just say it was a very "special" night. shhhhh.

looking forward to social nite & bangkok trip! *schmiles*

had a super hectic day at work last nite for 9 hrs straight. my legs kinda feel like jelly now. woke up today aching all over so baby gave me a nice massage. hee. so sweet!

went to eat at this pizza place at jurong point den watched Underworld Evolution. ooh i loooove kate beckinsale's eyes in that show when she turns into a vampire. its SKY BLUE. looks so damn good on her. but on me? NAH. i wont b able to pull it off i guess. heh.

gosh this weekend flew by so fast. feel i just spent a few hours with my boy and he's back at SAFTI. i hate the army. their medics nv seem to know how to get stuff done. well, baby kinda fainted at field camp cos he just pia too much (silly idiot). he was just so freaking tired tat he just collapsed and started cramping all over. den he got rushed over to the medics while keeping him conscious and they stuffed ice all over him. DEN!! the idiotic medics stuck a drip needle in him and got it in wrongly so ended up his blood spurted everywhere!!! and to make things worse!!! once the drip pack liquid lessened, the pressure wasnt enuff to pump the liquid into his body, the blood starts gushing out again!!! while listening up till here, i was alrdy trying to hold back my tears. its just so upsetting to think abt it. so very xin tong. so today i told him, "try to chao keng once in a while? FOR ME?" its so freaking hard to sleep at night when he's at field camp.

im hoping like hell he commisions sooner.
either that or sept come sooner.

recently alot of things r happening at the same time. makes it a little difficult to take a breather. i miss him alot. though its just been a week, no longer than the usual week i have to wait. but somehow i really want him by my side right now. he's at field camp now. so i cant even hear his voice. i hate this feeling. so much i want to say n tell him and yet i cant.

i want to tell him about work.
i want to tell him wat i did today.
i want to tell him abt irritating guys.

its always nice to have someone tell u he likes you, he wants you. girls would definitely like to bask in the nice feeling of being impt to someone. i hate to reject pple. cos i know it isnt easy letting someone know ur true feelings and den get kicked in the ass with some really lameass rejection. i really really hate rejecting pple. i hate seeing their disappointed faces. (in this case sensing.) and in THESE situations i'd rather these pple not let me know their feelings and just let things remain the way they are. but heck, wats done is done.

im sorry, NO.