can someone tell me what does STATUS: OPEN RELATIONSHIP actually mean!?!?!? *sighs* it jus ended.. jus like that...no reasons no quarrels no anger....jus a whole nite of tears tears n more tears...i dun understand...we broke up becos of a reason that he cant tell me...what isit?! tis question ran again n again thru my head the whole nite....i really dont understand wat could possibly be the reason...den again...i can roughly guess WHO it's abt... its funny how i can sink THIS deep into something that started not even a week ago... i dun wanna lose him.. not yet.. but its not smthing that i can control now...pls..give him back to me?

to you: i duno if u will ever read this..but i really really dun wanna lose u...not over something that i dun even have a clue abt.... if u told me...we couldve worked it out...together...i dun wan it to jus end.. jus like that....

so pisssssssssssssssssssssssssed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dun understand why things can become like dat OVERNITE!! BLOODY OVERNITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! argh i feel like shit now....so now i also duno wats gonna happen!!!! i dun even know if i will go en lounge on saturday anymore.......................... like now im sitting here n waiting n waiting n waiting n waiting for a bloody msg!! n its not coming... my phone is like NOT RINGING!!! den how?! wait lah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! waiting n waiting n waiting n waiting....... jus had a computer animation test....pui!! i like sit dere n anyhow colouring circles on the bloody answer sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!!! someone jus poison my drink n let me die.........................................

"u r the sweetest guy i've ever met" "i know" haha..only he is capable of saying stuff n still sound so cute lah!! hmmz...but i feel so darn insecure...duno y...like i feel tat there r so many other prettier girls out dere who likes him..WHY ME....tat kinda feeling....jus v horrible thots going thru my head....like so scared tat i will fall from heaven to hell....so so so so so so insecure.... haix... happy yet unhappy....so mixed up inside......argh!!! im gonna have a slpless nite tonite... shitz..... *dun take him away from me..........* =

i love my sweetie!! haha...went to watch The Bourne Supremacy... nice nice...v well shot...altho alot of shaky cam shots.. but i think they weren't too bad..only the ending car chase like abit long sia..haha...hmmz....i think i dun care liao...fast or not fast...he's jus too sweet to withstand....*muahx* i mean..we can watch the movie den he will tell me silly stuffs... cos julia stiles's name in the show is Nikki (i tink tats how u spell it) n den there's jason BOURNE...den he goes like "ohh.. nikky n bon..." haha.. is he cute or wat....*grinz* im still abit reluctant to let him noe abt tis blog..haha..wait he read all the mushy n hua chi stuff i wrote before...i will DIE..haha....maybe shall wait a while lah.......*sighs*

i'm back!! haha.. i forgot to blog abt an interesting thing that happened today...haha...met the cast of my specialist grp...we got keagan kang n corrine adrienne as leads... woohoo!! keagan saw me first thing tat came outta his mouth: "hey!! ..... have we met?" haha.. me: "yes....on emily's world?" haha... wheee.... he remembers me...tat shows im not this insignificant lil intern at liquidfire...i actually HELPED...haha....den i got stuck in this room with a buncha smokers...not tat i mind or anything...i am ok with ppl smoking noe...its jus tat the room was darn small n i was stuck for too long a time..i nearly passed out..haha...ooh....jus received a msg tat someone is drunk...hmmm....kinda worried for him...... = *worry worry worry*

*meltz* haha....amazingly...everything seems to be falling into place...i duno how i duno why....i really wonder WHY....cos i feel so.....inferior.....sheesh.... *knocks my head on the wall* argh! NIKKY!! STOP BEING AN IDIOT!!! to you: haha...i had a great time today...really.... =) spoke to him on the phone frm 12 plus all the way to 4 plus in the morning...haha..time passed v fast....if it wasnt cos he needed to study n i needed to slp i think we could go on FOREVER...haha...it seems that he kinda got used to calling me sweetie and i am starting to get used to caring for him... *grinz* i havent met a person who can make me laugh like that in a long time... *smiles* guess it was really fate hur..haha....*toinks* so cheesy..hahah.....i hope things dun turn for the worse...cos i might not b able to take it.... he's at zouk now.... haha... said he wun dance with other girls cos he wanna dance with me only... *overcome by sweetness* he jus msged me again...to say he misses me... *blush* i havent felt like tat in quite a while.... i feel like a princess.... lalala.... =D *tell me i'm not dreaming....*

lalalalala.... im on cloud 9..haha...dun ask why..i wont say...only a FEW pple know... heex heex...he's sweet...but i've learnt not to confirm someone's character without getting to know them better..i dun wanna make the same mistake as before...haha...so i shall wait n c.....btw...guess what peeps...i'm going to En Lounge on sept 4th...haha...by invitation....been clubbing too much..but tis is a chance i dun wanna miss....i get to go for free leh!! wahaha....i swear tat after that i will tone alot more down....pwomise!! heheex....li fei hui lao shi n kenn told me i became thinner!!! oh yea!!! haha... am i happy or waaat......thinner thinner n more thinner....i aim to b as thin as cyndi!! haha.. nah..tats too aneroxic....so crazy....this sat gotta sing already..i hope my sore throat is better by then.... *cross my fingers* waiting for someone to come online.....

phews..its was a bloody tiring nite..had to fend SOMEONE off the whole bloody nite...duno what the hell's his freaking prob...like cant u bloody fark off!!! urgh!!! skin thick like elephant only...he dare call me again arh..i will scream at him lor!! but other den that it wasnt too bad a nite...met darius there..haha...n got a whole jug of free vodka cranberry..woohoo!! hehe...it was nice..altho i tasted no vodka in it..haha...den got to know a few new fwens..teehee!! n ton until 7am with a certain darling..haha (u know who u r DARLING..) tonite gonna ton again...but not for fun...to do my pre pro for specialist...sheesh...boring boring boring....oh wells...i hope tat the rest of the week would b more fufilling...wed still got screen test with keagan kang n corrine adrienne tan...(ish tat how u spell it?) yups yups...guess it'll b sucha shock for keagan..Yes!! u r working with me AGAIN!! haha..oh well....i'm officially aching ALL OVER...thanks to mr yongxiang lah!! wanna go lower lower lower....den i also happily lower lower lower...den nxt morning wake up aching all over.. (eh eh..it sounds kinda wrong to ppl out there who duno wat i talking abt rite?) haha...who cares... blerh.... not working the whole week...there goes my pay...i'm getting very broke already!! *help!*

lala...tmr gonna dance myself crazy at chinablack..haha! no lah..gotta keep some time for hanming..if not he run away...i duno if i am looking forward to seeing kang ming leh...haha..one part of me does..one part of me doesn't...haix....i hate tis kinda feeling..but ah well..i gonna enjoy myself tmr..wadever happens...i will ENJOY!! n show off my pretty lil skirt..hahaha..i emphasize LITTLE. *grinz* oh well... zao geng also lidat liao..heck liao!! haha...i love my lil skirt.... *big wide grinz* lala... gonna go slp lah.. niteys all u nite owls... =D

i have said goodbye to my pay for the month..haha..like GOOD BYE!! *wave wave* haix...letz see...all in all what did i buy...hmmm....1 tube top...1 tank top...2 nice skirts...1 jeans...my Jay cd...my Dou Yu full set vcd...2 bags...i think i'm missing my heels!!! darn...oh wells..i gotta dig tat outta my pocket money...went down mohd sultan with cheryl to check out the clubs tat we can visit on sat..since we r THAT boliao lah...but in the end we settled on going chinablack liao...the rest are too....hmmm...how to say...not good lah..hahaha......i was stuck betwn whether to go for IPOS or specialist meeting tmr..den IPOS pushed to fri lor..haix.....i hate these 2 projects...they r really killing me.........i wanna b editor for my specialist den in the end i am doing something i realy dun have much confidence in..ah well....i dun seem to have a choice....I weekly has JAY!!! they really spilt lots of interesting stuff abt him..he is OH SO DIAO!!!! the stuff tat comes outta his mouth is brilliant!!! i agree....i dun wan him to change at all..he is perfect the way he n his music is........ love u jay!!! wahah!! *grinz*

i salute the manager of taka coffee bean - Marcus!! he is my hero!!! HERE'S THE STORY: went for a drink with Bryan at coffee bean marh...den talk talk chit chat..den left for home...den we went toilet before heading for home lor....den took train all the way to kranji..mus b too engrossed den nv check for my handphone's existance....until bryan got off at sembawang..den wanted to msg someone (dun wanna say who) den onli realised it was gone!!! i freaked out BIG TIME!! wished the train would faster reach kranji den my msia phone will have reception den can call my sg hp...den called n called n no one picked up...i big time freak out...i dun even remember anyone's phone no except my mum's n my house...(that's damn sad i know...) den called n called all the way frm kranji to home...i got marine's no from my mum (lucky she takes down impt fren's numbers) den called her to ask her go find for me my hp..i was guessing it was at the toilet...den she say dun hav..wah i super freak out...den reach home i keep calling n calling n thank the gods MARCUS MY HERO picked up...i left it at coffee bean n they found it...only that they were too bz to hear my phone ring..haha...den he told me to get it from him tmr...but i'd rather hav the phone in the hands of someone trustworthy...so i sent marine to pick it up for me since she was still at taka....argh...its so horrible not to have my hp with me...kangming msged me n i couldnt even reply!!! got marine to tell him im not with my hp...haix..THE END. *hp hp...i miss you...* i most definitely dun wanna go thru tat kinda trauma again.... *wipes sweat*

good afternoon ppl!! haha...i jus woke up and bathed!!! woohooo...feels like a sunday...hanming sent me a damn nice song ytd...i hav been putting it on repeat ever since ytd..haha...Lan Se Ai Qing by Roy Qiu Ze...its damn sweeeeeeeet....wah if someone plays a guitar n sings tat song to me..i will completely MELT......i duno how to load it on my blog..if anyone noes how pls lemme know leh!!! i wan everyone to hear it when they come my blog!!! hehe...so in love with the song.....(thanks hanming!!!) i love my new skirt..heheee....sat gonna go shopping spree again... i need to spoil myself baaaaaaad..........wild wild wet / clubbing anyone?? btw...my haloscan's been pretty quiet...ppl leave some msges can!!!!!! "wo ai de ni...rang wo kan jian hai de mei li..."

eee!! got my pay today...den went to splurge liao....went to swensens with hanming and ate baked rice n cookie summit..sinful sia....haha...den went shopping at far east n bought a quiet ex skirt..(to me lah...) its $24.90 lor...but its really short n flare...so i mus b damn careful when im wearing tat skirt....will zao geng v easily one wor....hahaha....yadda yadda..... i gonna b very nu ren from now on..i wanna b more girly..hahaha....yeaaa... haix...got so much shit to do nowadays.......post pro n IPOS taking up alot of my time...and specialist also...giving me a big headache..i mean...i seriously noe nutz abt art directing...damn i wanna b editor leh!! tats the onli bloody thing i can handle i think...shitttttt.................... i love alex!!

oh man i love love love love love energy n love love love love love milk!!!! milk sho niceeee!!! oh mannn!!! *gush* i know..very nonsense...but i like leh!!! blerh... haha.... went out for movie with kangming today...... house of flying daggers is supah power!! i know ... i caught it damn late..but who cares!! as long as i did!!! its damn niceeeee!!!! zhang yi mou!! i bai bai u...... jin cheng wu...*drools* but u not my type..i love milk better! haha....ok im being nonsensical..oh..n for the last time ppl!! i dun friggin look like STELLA NG!!!!!!!! i hate her. the end. haha. im slpy. nite. *stick out tongue*

phuture was superb!!!!!!!!!! haha...went there ALL GIRLS...ended up... .... ... hahaha.....now got more clubbing kakis liaox... wahaha... music wasnt all fantastic but the company was.... =D *dance dance dance* hahaha.... oh oh! and i got my jie lun cd!! yay!! super happy!! *grinz* today im a happy girl!! happy happy happy!! guess everyone had a great time at phuture hurhhhhh!!! wahaha.. *dances somemore* lalalala....

whee!! haha..am i happy or waaaaaaaaaaaat..........................................

i realised i can press "enter" anywhere except home..so spastic....urgh...anyway im happy!! realie happy!! haha..he came he came he came he came!!!!!!!!!!!! he came nooch to find me during my break!!!!!!!!! at first i kept looking at my watch ever since 3pm...hoping tat he will msg me telling me that he coming to find me...but by 4.45pm i decided to giv up all hopes...5pm..i went to walk arnd n find something to munch...went toriQ to buy the lunchbox...happily bring bac to nooch to eat...dragged a chair behind the counter....and when i was ABOUT to open my lunchbox..my phone rang!!! its impossible to describe my feeling when i saw "ALEX HP" on my caller display....i picked up n heard his voice..he said he coming over find me!! den we went walk around..den he brought me to this open rooftop garden at paragon which i din noe abt...talked abt stuffs....den 6pm went bac to work....and for the rest of the day i was acting like an idiot.......haha!! felt like a dream up till now..haha....we took a pic together on my hp..it sux...but i love it!! haha!!!

thank u so much for making my sunday soooooooooooooooooo happy...muahs muahs!! *grinz* u r oh so cute!! =^_^=